A moment that changed me: A telegram arrived – and I had to choose between my head and my heart

The author recounts a pivotal moment in 1972 when a telegram presented a choice between pursuing a relationship and a university education. At the time, her mother, who left school at 14, was preparing her for marriage, believing it was the only path to financial security. Her mother had enrolled her in "finishing" courses to enhance her "spousal eligibility," including domestic skills and driving. The author reflects that nearly 40 years after her mother's death, she understands her mother's regret over missed educational and career opportunities and her subconscious envy of her daughter's prospects. The author was studying for her A-levels at college during this period, a path her parents had not initially expected for her due to her gender and perceived lack of academic aptitude. The decision involved choosing between a potential life working in a club in Tehran with a romantic interest and accepting a place at an "elite university." Ultimately, the author received advice from her father that guided her decision.